2004-03-29 - 2:32 p.m.

Something strange is going on with my insides and nightly dreams of diapering a baby has me worried.

Is this shit true? Does my clock really tick?

Could it be that I'm just lost and wondering what to do with myself? I've been home for a month now trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do for forever. What I want requires a completely differnt personality that I clearly don't have. It requires that I slouch a little to one side and smile with my eyes. I need primping and calming sounds.

I need help organizing my thoughts because when it is up to me I just throw them out. I feel twinges of motivation, but mostly I've balled up all my dreams and whisked them off until they're melted.

If I were someone else I could be doing something else.

back - forth