2003-10-10 - 12:35 p.m.

So, horrible words and jabs have left me feeling sick and sad today. I didn't realize how talentless I am. I used to hate people that didn't see their talent flaws. I hated their nerve and unwarranted confidence. I decided to never be outwardly confident. Then, just when I felt comfortable enough to share myself with people I am reminded of my vows.

I was shot down horridly. I feel hurty. I am just not interested enough in anything to be good. I revealed my insides and was told to change. I was never sure if anything was good but after some nice words earlier this year I built up some confidence.

I have always wanted to be valued for what I kept inside but now I am too scared to go forward. I need a new plan.

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